Good things afoot...

Hey all! I know its been a while, but I am back now.

I went to Tamworth to see the kids this weekend and it was lovely. The travelling I could do without but Caleb's cuddles alone were worth it!

I got there in time to have dinner with the kids and to help put them to bed, which was lovely. Then Steve and I went out for coffee - well, tea actually - but it doesn't sound as good!

We had a long chat about where we were at, what was happening with the kids, where does bipolar end and a person start etc. We talked about working things out between us. There is alot of work that has to be done. Steve still has trust issues with me and will have for a while, learning how to trust me even in the grip of bipolar. I have to learn to trust him again too. But we have agreed to start putting our relationship back together.

What that means for the future, I don't know. I don't want to force anything to happen unnaturally. We have just agreed to move forward, and as time goes on I think we will start to begin defining that. We want a healthy marriage. One where each of us knows who we are and what we want and to have that respected equally. One where we are two halves to a whole, not 90% to 10%. We want a strong relationship. And that is as far as we have gotten so far.

But I think that, in itself is pretty good.

I spent the day with the kids on Saturday. We took them swimming in the morning and then in the afternoon I took the girls shopping while Caleb slept. We bought a Pumpkin Patch dress for Leah for her birthday. It was blue with silver sparkles everywhere. She picked it out herself and thought that she was so grown-up! The girls both got sunnies and a pair of shoes, a headband and a little diary pack (I love Pumpkin Patch's 60% off sales!) The girls were so cute about their sunnies. They kept asking when they could put them on and I kept having to say "We're not even outside yet!'" Then in the car, as we pulled out from the underground parking, they saw me put my sunnies on and they were in the back saying "quick Mum's got her sunnies on. Put your sunnies on!" :)

I loved spending time with Caleb too. He has become quite the parrot. He can sit there playing at your feet looking completely absorbed in what he is doing and yet listening all the while. If you say "I am going to take my car to the shops" then next thing you will hear is "car, shops" from Caleb. He is so cute.

We took the kids out to dinner with Steve's parents, Steve's brother and my niece. We went to The Pub, which cooks food that the kids can actually eat, not cooked in butter or anything. They enjoyed themselves but were pretty weary by the end of the night.

Steve and I went out again after dinner and just spent some good quality time together. It was so nice to have him emotionally available again..

The Sunday morning, I went up to see the kids before church. Hannah had decided that she wanted to call Steve and I by our first names instead of mum and dad, so we had a chat about family and what makes up a family. The next thing we knew, we were challenged with "how does a mummy and a daddy make a baby?" from Leah. Arrrgh! I'm so not ready to go there with her yet!

The kids left for church with Helen and Steve took me to the station to catch the bus home. It was a long trip and I am still exhausted but it was worth every minute!