30.10.07

I forgot to add yesterday, that I whaled in at 125.7kg. Hopefully, the only way is down!

Mum and Dad are up at college. It is dusk and I am sitting outside, listening to the birdsong and Cheeky chirping back at it. The air is cool and the clouds have undertones of soft grey.

I've just discovered that Sari likes classical music. I was being silly with the dogs and was singing the Veggie Tales "puppies are cuddly..." song. When I got to "if ever one day I were queen!" I crescendoed (yes I know its not a real word) and sang the final note operatically. Sari started baying. So I decided to test the theory and sang "O del mio dolce ador", dusting the cobwebs off my voice. Sure enough, whenever I hit the high notes, Sari accompanied me with her baying. It was very funny!

I got to wear my new jeans today and my new blue top. They are VERY comfortable. And they look OK too But its going to be a long while before I look OK in them. I had scrambled eggs and cheese for breakfast this morning, which was very yummy and the first step in my 12 week plan. I have only had about 600ml of water today but I'm sure I'll drink more tonight. As for the walk? It didn't happen today. My plans to walk over to the house to visit Caleb were foiled because Steve took him out for the morning. So I'm walking tomorrow morning. But at least I've made a start with the eggs.

I bummed around the house this morning answering emails and playing on p2p and Facebook. Had a bit of a chance to talk to Jeremy which was nice. His son has been in hospital, poor baby, having surgery on his thumb, which was slammed in a door.

Amy rang and asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee - which of course, I did! While I waited for Amy to pick me up, I finished Leah's poncho. An accomplishment! Now I have to put it away for next year. Amy arrived and we went down to GJ's for coffee and I had a caramel slice (naughty Fi). Its so nice to be spending some time with Amy, hopefully we can bridge the gap slowly that has kept us at arms length for years.

We picked up some groceries at Coles and then Amy dropped me home. I applied online for jobs at Coles and Woolies and I already have my application in for a produce assistant at Woolies. I have been thinking that it would be nice to do something. Not too much, maybe 20 hours a week. Just enough to give me some pocket money and keep me busy until I go back to study next year. It will hopefully help me pay for a car to get around in.

I spent some time on the phone with Steve this afternoon sorting out all things financial and I made an appointment to see my GP for Friday at 3:45. I used mum's aerofit and walked for 5 minutes at 580 steps. Which reminds me. I have to pick up my pedometer when I'm over at the house next. And my camera. My list keeps getting bigger and bigger!

Rachel rang me and we had a really good talk about Bipolar, depression, the separation and how God moves in our lives. She is so sweet. I think I'm making a friend to keep with Rachel. She is so supportive. Come to think of it, most of the girls in my biblestudy are.

I got to talk to Liana today too. It was really good having a chance to talk over the separation in detail with someone. I haven't REALLY talked about it with anyone since it happened, just aspects of it. Its hard though, its put me in touch with some deeper emotions. I don't want to lose my kids but I don't want to fight. I want some middle ground to negotiate on, maybe get some mediation. I don't know if I will cope if Steve moves my babies all the way to Tamworth. I'm waiting on what the psychologist says next week. She is going to give us a professional opinion on what is in the best interest of the kids... especially Leah.

Anyway, I am tired now. But it has actually been an OK day.

So that's me for the moment.