31.10.07

Woke up late and rushed some breakfast so that I could get down to the house to see Caleb. He was in a grate mood and was saying "water" "away" "open" "hat" "cat". He was obsessed with putting Hannah's toy cat into its cat carrier and then taking it back out again. He tried to put the horse in a few times but quickly worked out that it didn't fit.

It was so nice to have cuddles and play with him. I'm going to miss that.

Steve and I talked some more about custody arrangements but made no headway. He still wants to move to Tamworth with the kids at the end of the year.

He and dad are going to see Leah's psychologist next week to get a professional opinion of what would be in the kids best interest. So we'll see where we go from there.

I went shopping this afternoon. I had a $500 windfall from a generous benefactor so I went into town to pay off some laybys and buy some more clothes I had been eyeing off. And I still have money over to put towards my car!

It is the first time ever I think, that I have bought a WHOLE new summer wardrobe (none of my old stuff fits me). It was quite exciting.

I got my walk in today and I am wearing my pedometer so I will report the amount of steps tomorrow. Going to Wollongong with Amy, Mum, Ella and Caleb tomorrow. I have to see Dr D and Amy has to shop (no surprises there!) so I think I will have to drink coffee! Lol!

As for emotions, I had a scary "intrusive thought" about dropping Ella today. So I handed her back to Amy. Its not that I was going to drop her, but it really frightened me because the vision was so real. The zyprexa is still slowly working its way into my system, but it shouldn't be too long now before everything settles down.

But all in all, apart from the chat with Steve, I've had quite a good day. Its nice to feel happy for once.. even if it is just over the shopping.